Giving Up For a New Start
by sailor silvimoon
Summary: It was hard giving up a dream, Danny knew that first hand. But he had to do it. He was tired of being alone, pinning for the one his heart chose. Maybe, with time, that love would fade away and he would be free to love Gabby the way she deserved. After all, that was what Steve wanted. Right? Coda for 2x17. Some spoilers for that episode and 2x16. (pre-slash)


Title: **GIVING UP FOR A NEW START  
**Characters: Danny, Steve, Kono, Chin, Gabby, Grace, Catherine, Kamekona, Max  
Pairing: Danny/Steve (pre-slash)  
Rating: T  
Genre: Angst, Friendship  
Summary: It was hard giving up a dream, Danny knew that first hand. But he had to do it. He was tired of being alone, pinning for the one his heart chose. Maybe, with time, that love would fade away and he would be free to love Gaby the way she deserved. After all, that was what Steve wanted. Right? Coda for 2x17. Some spoilers for that episode and 2x16. (pre-slash)

**DISCLAIMER:** Don't own it. Sad, but true. Just playing with the boys.

**A/N** I tried very hard not to start writing for a new fandom, but these guys are really messing with my head. I was watching, ok, re-watching episode 2x17 and this little thing just came to me. Is it me or did a couple of scenes in that episode just screamed Danny's love for Steve? Jealousy in his voice when he asked about Catherine? Hurt when he plopped on Steve's couch? That startled look on his face when Steve said _'That's a lie too. You love me.'_ when they were in the car. Anger whenever Steve asked about Gabby, pushing him toward her? Reluctance when Chin asked him to talk with her about the bone fragment they found? Hurt mixed with anger when Danny came out of the water after jumping after their suspect? The obvious part where he didn't want to go and join Grace and Gabby on the beach?

And, that is how this story was born.

* * *

Danny Williams was in a foul mood for weeks. Ever since the Governor's fund-raiser party he and the rest of his team were attending. And, being their luck, instead of a nice evening, they had a crime to solve, almost causing an international scandal. The Governor was pissed at them, but that wasn't anything new. Thankfully, everything was cleared in the end.

However, that wasn't the reason he was feeling like this. No, this had a name written all over it. Steve McGarrett. His partner. The man who managed to steal his heart while he wasn't looking. And the best part was... Steve had no idea. And he never would, if Danny had his say in that matter.

He suspected Kono knew. She somehow had that ability to read him like a book. Perceptive as she was. He could swear he caught her sorrow look on him a couple of times, but neither of them said anything.

Because, in the end, there was nothing to say.

Catherine, dressed in a beautiful black dress, joined them almost immediately, earning a soft kiss on her lips from Steve. For one moment, Danny wished he was the one Steve was kissing, but he pushed that thought out of his mind. No matter how much he tried not to feel like that, he was jealous, wishing Steve's arms around him...

He started bickering with Steve about season tickets that were auctioned only to learn (a day later) Lori managed to get them herself and gave them to Steve. Yet another woman who had fallen for the crazy SEAL. She wasn't very subtle about it with all the hugs and glances toward him. Naturally, Steve was oblivious.

Like every time it happened, Danny's heart stopped when Steve was injured, but he forced himself not to show how much the SEAL meant to him. He was a professional, after all. Although, he'd barely held the jealousy that spurred through him when Steve told him he and Catherine were going for a two-week training on the Enterprise, asking Danny to watch his house during that time. He accepted with a curt nod, not saying a word.

During those long two weeks, he was miserable. He missed Steve like crazy, missed his presence in the car, in the office. Missed their bickering. Instead of sleeping on the couch (his usual place where he crashed whenever he was at Steve's), he slept in Steve's bed, hugging his pillow, dreaming and wishing Steve was there with him.

/

Knowing Steve would be home soon, he deliberately made a mess in the living room, his clothes and stuff all over the place, covering the fact he had been in Steve's room. He knew he went a bit overboard when he brought Grace's dog and let him upstairs so he could mask his scent in Steve's room. He clearly wasn't thinking straight, that's for sure.

Danny was in a middle of making a frittata, unsuccessfully, since there was smoke all over the house, when he heard the front door open and Steve walked in. A day early. His heart skipped a beat seeing his partner in his uniform. But, no matter how happy he was to see him, the happiness he felt quickly vanished at Steve's angry look and the words he said. Danny knew he wasn't a great cook, but he was trying. He knew how to do a few dishes and it was a first time he was doing a frittata. Something was bound to go wrong.

Following Grace to Hawaii, making a new life here, it was the first time he was alone. Back in Jersey, his mother was the one who cooked for all of them, and when he and Rachel got married, moving to a place that was not far from his childhood home, his mother continued with the trend. Cooking for the whole family. It was something she enjoyed doing, so he let her. It was nice having a hot meal on the table when he and Rachel got back from work.

Steve started complaining about the smoke, Danny's clothes scattered all over the place, the dog... and from there everything went spiraling down. Danny held his tongue in fear he would say something that would reveal his true feelings. For the first time, the drive to the crime scene was a quiet one, Steve driving the Camaro and Danny looking out at the passing scenery.

The fact they had to go to the museum and talk with Gabby since she was an expert with the artifacts was yet another thing that didn't sit well with him. He was avoiding her, choosing to spend time with Steve or in Steve's house while the SEAL was away. He knew it was unhealthy, that it would lead to heartbreak (his), but he couldn't help himself. He needed his 'Steve-time'.

Danny was pretty sure Chin started to suspect something was wrong when he reluctantly agreed to going to the museum and talk with Gabby about the artifact, because he put his fake smile on a second too late. However, Chin, being the man he was, didn't say a word, just looked at him in a strange way.

His heartbreak of the day continued when Steve started grilling him about Gabby the moment they left the museum. Asking, repeatedly, why he lied to the woman he had been dating for three months now about Grace being sick. Why he was delaying them to meet each other. It was so hard for him to listen to the man he loved as he pushed him into another woman's arms. It got to the point where he actually snapped at Steve asking him to drop it.

_''Don't you want Grace to know you're happy? You are her daddy.''_

_''Hey, I'm happy.''_

_''You're never happy.''_

_''I'm happy when I'm not around you.''_

_''That's a lie too. You love me.''_

For a moment, he sat there frozen, scared that Steve actually noticed his feelings toward him, but his next words squashed that suspicion away.

_''Okay, you know what I think it is? I think this is less about you protecting Gracie and more about you protecting yourself.''_

In a way, Steve was right. He _was_ trying to protect himself. Protect from another heartache. He didn't want Grace to meet Gabby, knowing his precious daughter would most definitively like the woman he was dating, because Gabby was a lovely person, easygoing, charming, gentle... Perfect in every way. Every man would be happy having her by his side. Too bad his heart was already taken.

He didn't want to move on. He didn't want to let go of his dream that Steve would someday see him the way he wanted. The way he desperately needed. That Steve would return his feelings back.

But, as the day, and the case, progressed, it was painful to admit that his dream would never happen. He was hurt and angry. At Steve, at his lonely life. But mostly at himself. Hell, he even took a page from Steve's book and jumped after their suspect into the water, showing his skill in swimming, trying to impress the SEAL. He thought it worked, because there was something in Steve's eyes when he got out, his wet shirt clinging to him, showing his well-defined abs. Since they were alone on the pier, their suspect in the car secluded and cuffed, and having backup clothes in the trunk, he quickly changed making a show of it, looking at Steve's reaction underneath his lashes. With satisfaction, he noticed the SEAL couldn't take his eyes off of him, clenching and unclenching his fists and breathing a bit faster than usual. That gave him a little hope, but only for a moment, because once they were in the car again, Steve started grilling him about Gabby. Again.

/

Finally, a few hours later, the case was over and the guilty man behind the bars. The reports were also written, proofread by Danny. During the time he was doing the report, his and Steve's, his mind was replaying the events of the day. It finally dawned on him that even if Steve was, probably and hopefully, drawn to him, he would never make a move. Judging how he pushed Danny toward Gabby all day long. With a heavy heart he made his decision and he invited the whole team to dinner and drinks in Hilton two days later.

Gabby was safe. Comfortable. He could, with time, learn to love her the way she deserved. Right? But, the most important fact was, she wouldn't break his heart. Like... No. He refused that thought to enter his mind. He was done. Steve made his choice, forcing him to make his.

/

Dinner was excellent and everyone was having a great time. Kamekona and Max were also there. Grace and Gabby included. Like he suspected, his daughter loved Gabby. At first, she was a bit shy, but eventually she accepted Gabby as someone important in her Danno's life. While they were drinking beer, relaxing after the meal, Gabby took Grace outside to play with sea shells on the sand. Since their table was next to the window with a view of the sea, Danny, sitting next to Steve, had an excellent view of his daughter.

Danny was, at first, a bit uncomfortable, having both Steve and Gabby sitting next to him, on each side...his heart pulling in both ways. He couldn't _not_ sit next to Steve. He needed the closeness. Even the fake one. Then Steve started pushing him again, urging him to join his daughter and Gabby outside, and his heart broke.

''I will. In a moment.'' Danny all but snapped at the SEAL, barely holding his emotions inside. ''But, first, I need to use the bathroom.'' He added after a thought, needing some time alone to collect himself.

Danny all but ran away from the table, from Steve, afraid he would say something stupid, like scream at the man for pushing him away or confess his true feelings. He didn't notice the frown on Kono's face or a knowing look in Chin's eyes. He made his choice. No, he was _forced_ to make it.

About ten minutes later, he exited the men's room and was startled to see Kono leaning against the wall.

''Either the ladies room is full or you're waiting for me. Which is it?'' He asked already knowing the answer.

''What are you doing?'' Kono asked, not even bothering to roll her eyes at the lame pick up from Danny.

''Nothing. I _was_ having a good time with my friends and my daughter.''

''I've noticed you didn't include Gabby, and you and I both know I'm not talking about that. Why are you doing this? Why are you settling?''

''I have no idea what you're talking about.'' Danny said, clenching his fists by his side.

''Oh, really? Do you think I'm stupid?'' Kono asked in anger, but her voice was low since they were in a public place.

''Kono...'' He sighed, knowing where this conversation was heading, but he didn't want to go there with her. Or anyone else, for that matter. He stated the reason for his decision. ''She loves me, loves Grace, my daughter obviously accepted the fact we're together. That's all that matters.''

''Do you love her? No, let me rephrase that. Are you _in love_ with her?''

''I...'' He couldn't say it so he settled with a half truth. ''I will. In time.''

''Are you hearing yourself?'' Kono asked exasperatedly. ''Don't tell me you actually believe in that?''

''Drop it.'' Danny warned, holding himself by a thread. Seeing Kono opening her mouth to say something, he rushed, finally loosing his calm. ''No. Seriously. Drop it. What do you want from me? What do you want me to say? That I love him? That for the first time in my life I've found love? That what I felt for Rachel is nothing compared to what I feel for him? Fine. I love him! I love Steve! But nothing between us will ever happen, so why don't you let me try to be happy with someone who loves me and obviously loves my daughter? I will, someday, learn to love her back. The way she deserves. If that's settling, fine, I'm settling. But, it is my life. My decision.''

''Danny...'' Kono's voice trembled hearing his words. "But, you and Steve are perfect for each other.''

''This conversation is over. There is no Steve and I. He is happy with Catherine and he sees me only as his friend. I'm not going to ruin our friendship confessing my love to him. No matter how much it hurts.''

''But...''

''That's enough, Kono.'' A new voice said and she turned around.

Chin was standing not far from them, hearing everything. He excused himself from the guys at the table knowing Kono would want to grill Danny about Gabby and Steve. What he didn't expect was his friend breaking down in front of them like that.

''But, Chin...'' She pleaded with her voice and her eyes.

''No, Kono. Enough. It's Danny's decision and his only. Let it go. There's nothing you can do about it.'' Chin stated calmly.

''Fine. I won't say another word. But, you are making a mistake.'' She said, looking at Danny.

''It's my mistake to make.'' Danny answered, then warned, looking at both cousins. ''If you say anything to Steve our friendship is over. Got it?''

''We won't.'' Chin assured him.

''Now, if you would excuse me, I'm going to join my daughter on the beach.'' Danny said and walked away, sending a last warning glance toward Kono.

The cousins followed behind him without a word. They parted going toward their table and Danny out front to the beach. Toward Grace and Gabby. Toward his future. Knowing very well he left his heart inside. With Steve. And every step he took was a bit harder than the previous one. But, he would make it. As long as Grace was happy.

/

Kono sat down on her seat and glared at Steve while taking a sip of her drink. Throwing a glance at Danny, who joined Grace and Gabby out front on the beach, she could see the tension in his shoulders. After their talk, she knew how hard it was for Danny to be out there, choosing a woman he wasn't in love with. Those words, the confession, ripped straight from Danny's heart, were still ringing in her ears. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Steve watching the, supposedly, happy couple with a dimmed smile. Someone who didn't know the SEAL would've thought he was happy for Danny, but she knew better.

''With all do respect Steve, you're a fool and a coward.'' Kono spat.

''Excuse me?'' Steve asked, looking at her in confusion.

''Kono.'' Chin warned, but she paid him no mind.

''You heard me. You are a coward. You obviously love him and yet you are pushing him into another woman's arms. You're ruining, not only yours and his life, but Gabby's and Grace's as well.''

Steve looked around the table, at his friends. Max, Kamekona and Chin were silent, looking anywhere but him. It didn't take long for him to realize that they thought the same as Kono and he sighed.

''She is good for him, Kono. He needs stability in his life. It is the best for everyone. I have nothing to offer him.'' He whispered the last part, returning his eyes toward the man he loved.

Only a warning look from Chin stopped Kono from voicing her thoughts so she settled with a glare toward Steve.

And, as if he could sense he was being watched, Danny turned his head around. Their eyes locked, sadness visible on both. He missed the way Gabby's smile fell when she noticed the exchange.

In that moment she knew that the man sitting next to her would never be truly hers.

* * *

**A/N **That is all for the time being. I will, at some point write a sequel with Steve and Danny getting together, but for now this is it. I also have one more story for this fandom that is in writing so keep an eye for little 'ol me. *grin*

Hope you like it so please review.


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